The life that we live in is truly unparalleled, and it’s unfortunate that someday, it has to end. I guess that’s the reason it’s so special and precious — at one point, every person will cease to exist.
I think about the long road of human history, and I can’t help but ask how come I am alive and alert now, at this exact moment. Why now, and not a hundred, two hundred or three hundred years ago, or one hundred years from now? Could it be that we are always conscious, but as someone else?
The lack of consciousness is so out of reach of comprehension to me that every time I think about it, it leaves me more confused than before.
I’ve been under anesthesia a few times in my life, and I’ve sensed its deepness. Normal sleep is nothing in comparison. It’s not nearly as relaxing. When I was under, I might as well have been in outer space, and I did wonder many times, Is this what death feels like?
When my thoughts were in their darkest form, I reached one of the turning points in the flow of my nihilistic way of thinking. I’ve come to one crucial and obvious realization — if I truly am at the point where death looks like a better option than life, then what am I worrying about? My supposed wish will inevitably come true, as death is something that awaits us all.
In that case, there is no need to rush anything because years fly too fast anyway. And if nothing is rushed, then there’s a chance new values and goals will be discovered, and that person will be glad nothing ended prematurely.
I thought to myself, If I prefer life over death, and I see its fundamental values, then this relatively short time on Earth should actually be lived out.
I don’t know if we will ever unlock or unveil the mysteries that puzzle not just me but most people, but I would just like to mention that I feel privileged to be living in these times. If there’s only one single tape of consciousness for each of us, I can say that I am glad mine is being played right now, alongside yours.
Play it right so that one day, when we are old, every single one of us will have a greatest hits compilation worthy of revisiting.
Consciousness and power to self-Improve
Life was never easy. We, as human beings, after all, did arrive at this point after millions of years of trial-and-error refinement. Life was not quick at this fundamental method of problem-solving, but it obviously got it done eventually, and now we have the consciousness and power to self-improve.
It looks to me like we are moving in a positive direction, which brings me to hope that generations in the not-so-distant future will live in a world with only a negligible amount of prejudice, hate, and wars.
It’s tough to envisage a world where corruption is eradicated and where unemployment, discrimination, and religious conflicts are non-existent, but that’s the thing about hope — it can give us a positive charge even in the bleakest of times when our batteries are seemingly sucked dry.
Most of us don’t have the power to create change on a big scale, but nobody stops us from giving our small part for the betterment of our existence on this planet. So even if you don’t feel like your role is being felt, know that the truth is different because we all play small but crucial parts.
If we look for the brighter side of things, we will experience more positive events in our life, so don’t give up hope. Stay driven and stay positive.
This blog post is a combination of smaller sections of my book called Pussified: A sex change story I didn’t have the balls to tellThe book is available on Amazon as Kindle and Paperback, and in early 2022, it will officially be a part of Pegasus Elliot Mackenzie Publishers book library.