Social anxiety and depression are something teenagers and adults share. There is no age restriction on one of the most horrific and devastating commonly-shared life issues. I was no exception.
Over the years, I try to find out what is feeding these psychological atrocities that are populating my head. I found at least one fuel: and that is fear. Fear of being exposed to ridicule, fear of being told what skills I lack and what should I change about myself, fear of being talked about behind my back.
Eventually, this evolved so much that I was fearing of being afraid, so I didn’t even want to think about even the most hypothetical scenarios. So that brought down the potential of solving my issues to zero.
Who am I now? At 34 years of age, I am a person who gives less f**k about embarrassing things than most people I know, and this is something that helped save my life. There was no other path for me other than head-first through the wall.
Now my condition – something I never openly discussed – my chromosomal disorder and sex reassignment surgery that came at the age of six as a result – is covered in a book that is at the same time an open diary created to help me – and others.
Nowadays, I see compliments as fuel, I see criticism as an opportunity to adjust and improve, and I thrive in the thrill of doing something bold and “dangerous”. My book is one proof, and the video that is placed at the top of this blog post is a second example of the same mindset.
I am mature, I know what’s crossing the line and what is not, and I refuse to be deterred from the things I want to do just because I used to see them – or someone else sees perceives them now – as dangerous.
F*ck the fear, f*ck the shame, this is the only game we will be able to play. Life is too short for procrastination and giving in to something our ancestors used to avoid hidden dangers in the bushes.
We don’t have time to let evolution erase our primal traits, so “be bold and brave like you’re losing your hair while strolling through the Tennessee Bell Witch Cave while not giving a damn”.